Bobo the psychotic retarded kangaroo
by Fear of the Mind
Summary: Original story by me that involves a kangaroo that is cast out of his mystical world and into a land of adventure.
1. Chapter 1

Once upon a time, in the Serengeti, there was an ancient, mystical city called Bonsoon. Now the special thing about this place was it's entire population was made of sentient animals. But there was one animal who we will concentrate on and his name was Bobo. He was a kangaroo (please don't ask what a kangaroo was doing in Africa) and was born mentally handicapped, and a psychopath. During his everyday life he would punch sleeping lionesses, beat up monkeys, and bitch slap the king of the city (who was a lion). One day, all of the animals where tired of Bobo's bullshit and kicked him out of Bonsoon.  
After being kicked out of Bonsoon, Bobo proceeded to sodomize some nearby monkeys. He walked off from the twitching animals and saw Mr. Crocodile. Mr. Crocodile was a ruthless kingpin in the local mob at Bonsoon and was responsible for running an international crime ring and the murder of 13 citizens and 43 hobos. "Tough luck getting kicked out of Bonsoon", he said "but I can sneak you back in if you hop in my mouth". "SHAPOOPI!!" Bobo said. He then ripped Mr. Crocodile's upper jaw off. Mr. Crocodile proceeded to thrash around violently as he slowly bled to death. Bobo walked away to let him die horribly.


	2. Chapter 2

After walking for a few minutes, he saw a zebra who was walking with only three legs. "Oh god get me a fucking bandage," he said as blood was spraying out of his wounded leg "I'm bleeding out!!". Being the kind man he was, Bobo took out a saw he was hiding in his pouch and sawed off a leg of the zebra. The zebra fell down flat on his face. "Why! Why would you do that!" zebra screamed in agony. But Bobo wasn't fooled, for he knew (a.k.a thought) he was a space alien from the planet Zod in the outer rim of space. So he slowly sawed off the head of the zebra. He then found a cactus (one of those small ones, mind you), picked it up, and shoved it up his ass. He then jumped up and screamed "I am the best at what I do!!". After a bit of that nonsense, he fell asleep (note unconscious) because the cactus hurt... a lot.  
When he woke up 3 weeks later, he saw Ms. Tiger eating the zebra's corpse. Mrs. Tiger was a seductress. What does that mean, you ask? Well that means she would lure unmarried and sometimes married men and sex them up. While she would be having sex, she would murder them and then continue the act. She looked up from her feast and saw Bobo. "Well" she said, "looks like I have a catch." "JUST SAY NO KIDS!!" Bobo said. Before Ms. Tiger could realize what the fuck was going on, Bobo knocked her on her back. He then pulled out a combat knife out of his pouch and cut Ms. Tiger open. He then started ripping out the organs out of the still living Ms. Tiger and he eats the organs he ripped out. Ms Tiger died around the time Bobo ripped out her spleen. 


	3. Chapter 3

Later, after walking for 3 miles, Bobo saw a lemonade stand in the distance. But upon closer inspection, it was actually a black market store disguised as a lemonade stand!! A shifty Arab man was standing behind the counter. He had a short nose, a mustache, and a slanted face. "Hey tough guy" he said "you looking for somethin'". "I need three tall glasses of burger juice" Bobo said. The strange Arab man then took, from behind the counter, an AK-47, a sword, a condom, and a bottle of scotch. "That will all cost one decapitated zebra head" the Arab man said with a grin. Bobo then took out the zebra's decapitated head and put it on the counter. "King of spades bitch." Bobo said. The Arab grinned an evil Grinch grin and quickly grabbed the zebra's head and stashed it in his pocket. Bobo then took the his things and stuffed them all in his pouch. Except his AK-47, which he pointed at the black market man. "Hey, I wouldn't do that if I were you." He said "I have super powers". Bobo leaped back in slo-mo and started shooting at the Arab man. He Grabbed each of the bullets before they could hit him. He then jumped high in the air. Bobo look around for a bit before the Arab man landed behind him and punched him in his weak spot. Bobo went out like a light.  
Bobo woke up and saw that the black market stand was missing. Bobo didn't really care though but soon got angry when he saw that his Ak-47 was missing. But he had to keep going, so he did. Later while he was walking, a giant lobster crab with human feet burst out of the sand behind him. "I am Crab Claw Monster Man!!" the creature said. He had huge claws where his arms should be, he had the head of crab, the tail of lobster and two blade arms under his claws. Bobo took out his sword because he knew a fight was coming. "Where's the beef?" he said before charging right at Crab Claw Monster Man. 


	4. Chapter 4

After the battle (I'm to lazy to write a fight scene. Besides, I've been writing this damn story for 2 hours) Crab Claw Monster Man was standing on his defeated opponent. "Hahahahaaa" he said "Even more proof of why I'm the greatest thing to ever hit the Serengeti" He dived back under the sand rite before Bobo stood up. Bobo looked at his bloodied, broken arm. He then tried to continue to walk but realized that his leg was broken. Knowing he was done for, he picked up his sword, raised it high and stabbed himself that is known in Japan as Ritual Sepukku. He fell down and died. Before he could die, he uttered his last words "Reagan...sucks." He then died.

The Moral of this story:  
Don't fuck with Crab Claw Monster Man. 


End file.
